real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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