i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize