at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
