glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i have two assholes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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