i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Actions speak louder than pants.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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