69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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