then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
