She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
