this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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