I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
