They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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