he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
