had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
