perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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