I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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