elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize