**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
