Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
