Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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