**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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