Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
