he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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