Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
