My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we're so committed to being not committed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
