I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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