i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
