New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
