I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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