I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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