you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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