im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
