Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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