you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
