Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
