Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it glows. i had to have it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
