i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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