Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
