Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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