And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
