your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
