Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
