No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
