he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
