I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just had sex on a roof
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
