I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
