some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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