Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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