I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
