My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize