I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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