on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
