so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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