she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
