She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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