I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize