Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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