is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
