Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
