Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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