I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
3 2 1 whiskey
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
