i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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