We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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