so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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