I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
