dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
