Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize