stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
