Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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