im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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