Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
