He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
