I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
